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Holiday Burnout Sale & New Store Website Inbound

Holiday Burnout Sale & New Store Website Inbound

Post-holiday burnout brings 25% off sale to shores near you!

… Are they gone? Is it over? 


Alright, quickly now, let’s get as much of this done before the family comes out from the woodwork yet again with claims of “forgotten socks” or “extra leftovers” or “you can’t give me three minutes and a twelve-page puzzle to get my suitcase back, I already packed it, we’re running late for our flight, come on Alan”. We’ve got important business to attend to. 


Welcome to the Pirate Supply Store’s new online hub for pirates, friends of pirates, family of pirates, or enemies of pirates to buy supplies no matter the distance between yourself and our brick-and-mortar. You’ve come at the right time! Most stores have their sales in the last few months, you know, around the holidays, when everyone’s scrambling for last-minute gifts for the people around them, but we don’t believe in such selflessness– at least, not all the time. Sometimes selflessness is fine! Great, even! But you’ve gotta look out for yourself, you know?


So… Welcome to the Holiday Burnout Sale. Who needs other people, anyways? We’ve sailed plenty of sturdy vessels all on our lonesome! Everything from dingy to rowboat to a loose bundle of logs we tied together with vine that one time our– well, we shouldn’t get into it here. Point is, the holidays are over, your family’s gone home (at least, those you can escape from, and those that have found their luggage in the Squid Dungeon and have finally, blessedly, left your house), and it’s high time you did something for yourself. Sit back, relax, and scroll through our newly refurbished website’s wonderful layout in search of the perfect post-celebrations burnout gift! Everything from knick-knacks to trinkets to a fair few little useful items here and there, we’ve certainly got something that’ll catch your eye and make you think “gee, I’d really like that, but only if it was 25% off for a limited time”.


Good news on that last front! To celebrate our collective triumph over the holidays, we’ve so graciously decided to bestow the gift of savings onto those who visit our site. Try using code BURNOUT until February 29th (of 2024, to be clear) for a handy 25% off all items listed– including our books! We’ve got a fantastic book of the month here, The Hidden Secret, that you should absolutely check out if you’re a fan of speculative fiction with a kick of sci-fi here and there. We certainly are. That’s why it’s our book of the month. In fact, if you read closely, you’ll begin to notice themes of–


… Oh god. Did you hear that? Someone’s still in the Squid Dungeon. I think it’s Cousin Jeremy, and he sounds mad. He’s also calling them octopi which, on top of the already very crass names we absolutely, under no circumstances, can record for you here, is really just rude and honestly a little confusing. Squids and octopi don’t even look anything like each other? It’s fine. This just means that once we save Cousin Jeremy from the Squid Dungeon in the next three-to-five business days, our holiday burnout will be twice as bad as it was while we were writing this, and we’ll have to use that code twice to make up for the amount of energy spent. 


What’s that? That’s not how discount codes work? Oh.
Well. That’s fine. We’ll just read The Hidden Secret instead. 


Cheers from the second-mate blog-updater,


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